Pee before you read this...

I was at our church today, and our church secretary shared with me what I am about to share with you... I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants... Seriously, if this does not make you laugh, you need to call your doctor in the morning and get put on some medication... lol... If you are having a bad day, well I hope I can make you laugh...

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> If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This
>
> is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day
> at work think of this guy.
>
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
>
> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
> FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience
> contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
> down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
> make you realize it's not so bad after all .
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> few technicalities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
> the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
>
> So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
> water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
> sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
>
> It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
> taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
> I've used it several times with no complaints.
>
> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
> and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
> with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
> itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
> from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what
> had happened.
>
> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
> suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
> couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
> fortunate.
>
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
> the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
> Five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
> agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
> before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompress
> ion.
>
> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
> helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
> laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
> rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
>
> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
> butt was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'