Sunday, January 25, 2009

Controversy in Discipline...

In my last post, I wrote about how I disciplined Luca after he pooped in his diaper and spread it throughout his room. If you missed it, go to the post below...
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Here is a comment that I got from an anonymous reader. She wrote this out of concern, and a kind heart. I am going to post it, and I could be opening up a whole can of worms, but I am okay with that!!! (please if you participate in this post, please be respectful of all views...we all parent different! As long as there is not being any harm physically, emotionally, or mentally to the child I am open to ideas!)
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Anonymous said...

Hi Rebekah, I stumbled across your blog while looking at others. You do not know me, but I want to say that you look and seems like a BEAUTIFUL family. While I see nothing wrong with what you did, I know others would not share in our ideals for child training. Out of love for you, my first thought is that I would not post this blog because there are some (some never having kids) that would not have the sense to understand your consequence. Just my 2 cents to help you.

January 25, 2009 9:47 AM

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Rebekah Hubley said...

Dear Anyonymous-

Thank you for your concern! I hope you know that my Aunt Phyl (comment above) was totally joking about the water boarding!!! I never dumped the cold water into his mouth and at no time was he ever in any danger. My husband questioned me posting this, but in no way was he ever in any harm.

I did spank him once, but it never left any marks, nor would I ever hurt him.

I am okay with the post still, because to me, it is a creative, lasting, but not hurting consequence to his behavior. If you read through my blog, this is a child that is into EVERYTHING!!!!!! He learns by real life experiences and not by time outs--even though he gets them---they are more for me!

I struggle sometimes to figure out how to teach him best. I have to be very creative with him. I know that he is only 2 1/2, but he does know better--he is VERY SMART.

I thank you for your concern, and comments, and it has made me think about my choices in parenting.

So, here is my analysis:

If CPS came to my door and questioned my parenting, or this situation, I would be totally confident in my choices of discipline. I would not be afraid to tell them that my children get spanked once in a while, because I never spank to hurt. (Actually, I don't spank much because I don't really know how effective it is. I do almost entirely time outs privelages (sp?) taken away. With Luca, I do need to be more creative to make a lasting impression--like leaving food on him for a few minutes, or washing him with cold water, etc...

I am self confident in my parenting skills, and I am totally open to people questioning my thoughts or giving alternative solutions!!!!

There is a saying that goes: "It takes a village to raise a child."

That statement could not be truer than with Luca.

Once again, I am not offended by your comments and I welcome any thoughts...

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So, what are some creative disciplining that has worked for you in the past? Leave a comment, and I will make a post of them. Lord knows that there are days that I need to pull something new "out of a hat" because I can't think straight anymore!"

I will start us off with 2 situations: One from our family and one that I read about and am storing in my brain for later use when our kids are teenagers...

#1: Hannah had a very hard time transitioning from Kindergarten to 1st grade last year. The teachers were not expecting much out of her, and she was pushing them to find the boundaries... I think it was the 1st week of school and I had just laid Luca and Micah down for their naps and they had just fallen asleep. I got a call from her school that I needed to pick her up because she was being so disruptive and disobedient. "What??? Hannah??? I think she even hit someone with her cane." I was BEYOND ANGRY!!!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT I HAD TO GO AND GET HER AND IN THE PROCESS WAKE HER BROTHERS UP..."

I get there and find her in the principal's office laughing. I quickly took her firmly by the shoulder and marched her out to the office and had her apologize to the office staff, principal, and then took her to her teacher to apologize. I think she thought it was going to be fun when she got home??? There was about 1 hour left of school, and when we got home she had to stand in the corner, without saying a word, for the duration of the school day. She told me at the end that her legs were going to fall off... :-) lol... She thought the world was coming to an end!!! It worked, and made a lasting impression. She has never been sent home from school again, and this year is getting excellent marks for behavior... I had to get to her where it 'hurt' the most. If you know Hannah, she does not like to exert herself physically, unless she is swimming, and she loves to talk.
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#2: Here is a story that I read a couple years ago and have tucked it away for a day in the future... I think it is great!!! (From Fox News)

MEMPHIS, Tennessee — A Tennessee mother fed up with her daughter's misbehavior took an unusual tack in for latest punishment, making her stand on a busy street corner with an attention-getting sign.

Tashara Wilkins, 13, held a sign Sunday reading, "I don't obey my parents, I'm a liar. I steal from my mom. I have a bad attitude."

"All other resources haven't worked, so I'm making her be publicly humiliated today," mother Cherie Wilkins told WMC-TV in Memphis. "I hope this works for her. I love my child. ... I could be beating her to death, but I'm not."

She said her daughter's bad attitude Sunday morning led to the public display.

Tashara said having to wear her offenses was eye-opening.

"It might even work," she said. "I'm gonna start (behaving better) because I don't want to be standing out here with everybody looking at me like I'm crazy with this sign."

The mother said her daughter would go to church Tuesday night wearing the sign.

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So, what are your more creative punishments???

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Mean, Mean, Mommy...(Part II)

Yep, I am a mean, mean mommy once again... Luca is cutting his top 2 year old molars, and has had some nasty diapers. Usually he will tell me, and he will go on the potty. But, if he goes during or after a nap, in his room, I don't know about it.

Well, 2 days ago he pooped after a nap, and tried to get his pull-up off by himself. In the process, he put some 'pretty' butt prints on the carpet. I did not get mad, but told him that he needed to keep it on and tell me that he is poopy. (I have his door locked from the outside, so he can not get out without my knowledge.)

Well, yesterday I went to get him and I could smell something fowl... It was not quite the 'art show' like the first episode, but it was very intentional. The grate was off and deposits were made in the vent... Poop was smeared on the carpet, and he was saying, "Mommy, wook, I got poopy in my diapa..."

Oh, I was not a happy momma!!! He said, "No spankin' my bootie!" Well, I did spank his booty once, but refrained from 'killing' him.

I put him in the tub and had Micah go to the kitchen to get baking powder, to scrub him with. I was thinking, "Okay, what can I do to him, that does not hurt him, but imprints his memory NEVER to do this again???"

Ha, I had a great plan!!! I told him that only really cold water would get the poop and smell off of him, so I washed him off with the water all the way "COLD"! You would have thought that he was being murdered... I did feel somewhat bad, but I washed his entire body and head with ice cold water. Like so cold that my hands were freezing by the end...

We did give him a warm bath after he was all clean. Needless to say, I don't think that he will be taking any poopy diapers off in the near future... :-)

This morning I went into his room when I heard him, and he had stripped to his diaper, but kept it on. He told me that he was poopy, but no 'cold water'! Yeah... he is learning...

Sorry, no pics... He was screaming too much, and I do have some compassion... lol...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Help...

I am going to enter Luca in the Regis and Kelly's Live baby search contest. Would you please help me choose your favorite photo!!! Thank you in advance for your help! I would enter Jonas too, but I don't think that I can since he is not "officially" ours yet??? Anyone know??? Thank you in advance for your votes. This is my first "poll", so lets see how it works. The poll is on the right sidebar, so what are you waiting for??? GO VOTE!!! (if you want to see new posts...I added 3 new ones below this last night. :-)

Photo #1

Photo #2

Photo #3

Photo #4

Photo #5


My favorite is probably #1, but that is just my opinion... What do you think????

Random photos of Hannah...

I found these on Ryan's computer, and had to post them. These were taken last year on Hannah's 7th birthday. Wow, in almost 2 months she will be 8. Please stop getting older Hannah!!! :-)






Report Cards...




Okay...So I am going to brag tonight... I know that Grandma's and family will be excited to see this:

We have a STRAIGHT A student in the house!!! I am so proud for many reasons...

-Hannah achieved straight A's at a school that is NOT for the Blind...

-We were told by the School For The Blind, that Hannah would be doing great in braille if she were able to read at grade level with her peers by the 5th grade. I am proud to announce that she has been on grade level with her sighted peers since she began her school career, and she has never fallen behind. (She is amazing her braille teacher...Miss Rhonda will give her new braille contractions, and Hannah already knows them. She has left her momma in the dust as far as braille goes!!!) I need to take a grade 2 braille coarse this summer to even get close to Hannah...

Go Micah Go!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love you and are proud of what you are accomplishing!!!
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So, the verdict is out on Luca... What do you think???? ADD???? :-) He is very smart, but this child cannot tell his colors apart for ANYTHING!!!! :-) Any suggestion? He usually says that things are yellow or black. I have even had him choose from 2 colors, and he can't... Honestly, I would have to laugh if we found out that he was color blind! Nothing can really shock me anymore... lol...

-Lastly, she is not displaying any of my ADD characteristics... lol... Seriously, school was a social gathering for me. I loved school, but was in trouble CONSTANTLY for talking...(go figure) I was diagnosed with ADD in the 7th grade, and medicine is my friend!!! I always had the potential for great grades, but it was not until my Junior year in High School that I made high honor roll. I finally decided to apply myself. So, for my 2nd grader to get straight A's, makes this momma VERY proud!!!

So, here they are:

Social and Behavior Development: E
Work and Study Skills: S+ (this is my fault for not signing her homework folder a couple times... oops... :-( )
Language Arts (Reading): A
Language Arts (Written/Oral Language): A-
Mathematics: A
Science: A
Social Studies: A
PE: S
Magnet Music: A
Piano: A
Drama: A
Spanish: A
Magnet Art: A
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Go Hannah Go!!! Sweetheart... We are so proud of your accomplishments no matter what grades you make!!!
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Micah: He also had a great report card! In our Kindergarten they do not use letter grades A-F. We are so glad that Micah is doing great in school. We were VERY prepared to hold him back in Kindergarten if we had to. Some kids with Spinabifida can have learning disabilities. He does not show any signs of learning delays at all!!! To that I Praise God!!!

Micah's grades...

Social and Behavior Development: S
Work and Study Skills: S+
Language Arts (Reading): E
Language Arts (Written/Oral Language): S+
Mathematics: S+
Science: S+
Social Studies: S+
Health Education: S+
Art: E
Physical Education: S
Music: S

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Mean, Mean, Mommy...

So, what would you do with a 2 year old that dumps his dinner all over himself on purpose??? Here is what I did...





Yep, I set the timer and made him sit in it for 6 minutes. 2 minutes (because he is 2 years old), just did not seem long enough. BTW: He is not naked, he does have a diaper on under the Italian wedding soup. :-) He kept saying, "Yucky Mommy!" I would say, "I know, and I am so sorry that I have to wait for the timer to beep before I can wipe you off. You probably don't want to do that again..." :-) So, we will see if my method worked, or if this will be yet another thing that he will need counseling for as an adult. lol...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Simple Things in Life...

With my kids, I have learned to not take any of their milestones for granted!!! Every little progress is a huge leap. We made one of those leaps tonight... Some of you might think that I am silly for posting this, but if you know Hannah, this was a HUGE FEAT!!!

SHE LET ME POLISH HER NAILS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! I really did not need to beg real hard either. I have waited almost 8 years to polish my daughter's fingernails... She would always throw a fit when she was younger if I would even mention it. She said that it would me messy, sticky, wet, etc... No sense could be talked into her!!! I just gave up even asking.

I love to do 'girly' things, and I have missed out on some of the things that most moms do with their little girls, because Hannah does not 'get into' a lot of the girly things. Make-up, hair, etc., is really all so visual! Libby Lu's is WAY OUT OF THE QUESTION!!! ;-)

So, what was her reaction???? SHE LOVED IT!!! She called my mom right away to tell her what she had done, and she told my mom that now they could go together and get their nails done... My mom gets her nails professionally done, so now she and Hannah can go 'inhale some toxic fumes together' all in the name of beauty... lol...

What color did she choose??? None other than one of her favorites: Silver. Funny, huh...Hannah has favorite colors: Red and Silver are her favorites.

SERIOUSLY...Isn't she cutest girl in the world?!?!




Jonas's 1st Day of School...

It is hard to believe that Jonas is going to school... I will post the story, but the day has gotten away from me, so I will not leave you without pics...










Luca and the Fish...

Remember during our power outage that our fish all froze and "stood on their noses", as Micah put it... Well, my sister, Missy, gave Micah a gift certificate to Pet Smart for Christmas to buy some new fish. I am amazed that they have lived this long... Luca will scale things COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE for a 2 1/2 year old to climb, and get a hold of the fish food. Twice last week he was caught dumping all of the fish food in the tank. So much so, that you could barely see the fish, and our whole downstairs smelled like rotting fish food (aka...CRAP) for a few days. I thought he had learned his lesson, but obviously not...

This is how I found him the other day... I had to take pics, and I know that it does not contribute to him learning to not get up there when mom is snapping photos of him; but I could not resist.

Remember the scene in "Finding Nemo" when Darla, the dentist's niece comes in and all of the fish hide... This has to be how are fish feel! He told me that he was 'touching the tishies...'

Lord help us ALL!!!




Thursday, January 15, 2009

A sister for Hannah???

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don't tell Ryan anything about this post... lol!!! :-) Well, if you know Hannah, you know that she is really 'over' all of these brothers around here! She has asked over the past year for an older sister. Ryan laughs, but really honestly, children do not surprise me with their knowledge of the plans that God has for our lives!!!

There is a home for blind orphans in China called Bethel. There was an e-mail posted today from a 'Parents of Blind Children' forum that I am a part of. Three 'older' girls are desperately wanting families, and one is about to age out of the program. That RIPS at my heartstrings!!! No one should ever grow up without a family and a mommy and daddy. No matter what their disability. And if you have ever met Hannah, being blind is really not a disability!!! Not seeing has not stopped Hannah from doing ANYTHING!!!

Here is the post...
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When I was adopting our 8 and 9 year old daughters earlier this year
from China, I met three beautiful girls who all are longing for their
own families. They are foster sisters at a school for blind orphans.
All three are blind, as are the girls we adopted. The school our
daughters attended teaches English, and our daughters spoke better
English than some of our guides in China. They did not even qualify
for ESL services when they got home. They were wonderfully prepared
for their adoption. I cannot say enough good things about their
school. The director of the school speaks excellent English and would
be happy to talk in much greater detail to anyone interested in
adopting one of the children. She has asked me to help spread the
word about some of their older children who are longing for families.
I also met these three girls during our adoption trip. I spent two
days with them, and they are unforgettable. If anyone would like
further information on these children, or would like to know how to
contact the director, please email me at vtscott @ cox . net (remove
spaces). Please feel free to crosspost this as well. I wish more than
I can say for these three girls to find families of their own.

Velleta
Dh Travis
Dds Rosanna (Xingyi), Jenna (Luoyang), Dori, Callista, and Aliana
(Hangzhou)

Yuan is a soft spoken, very sensitive, 12 year old girl. She loves to
sing, play with babies, and works hard in school. She knows both
English and Chinese Braille. She has been studying very hard the last
few months after some of her friends were adopted. She said she wants
to do well so she can be adopted too. She is very helpful and loves
to take care of the people around her. She was shy when everyone was
crowding to see me, but was thrilled to sit quietly and talk to me at
length. She speaks excellent English, and just has such a sweet,
gentle spirit. It just shines out of her when you speak with her. She
knows she is close to aging out, and desperately wants a family
before it is too late.

Xiao is an adorable 5 year old girl. She loves to play with baby
dolls and is very much a girl. She is always toting a doll or stuffed
animal around. She has a mischievous streak in her, and often tries
to charm her way out of discipline. She is very intelligent, and does
have light and color perception. She has recently been struggling
with all of her preschool friends having families but her. She was
heard saying, "I don't NEED a mama and baba." She seems to be really
having a hard time be left behind, and is trying to be strong since
she does not have a family yet.

Chun is a very smart little girl with an absolutely million dollar
smile. She is 7 years old. She knows English and Chinese Braille.
Although she was a little harder to understand than some of the other
kids when I met her in June, her English comprehension was excellent,
and I could understand her with a little effort. Her foster mother
reports that she always wants to mother everyone and do things for
them. She is a strong leader and always has a huge grin on her face.
She has a good sense of humor, and shows enthusiasm doing all kinds
of different activities. She is very affectionate and soaks up any
one-on-one time she can get. She asked if she could pretend I was her
mama too, and begged me to take her home with me. She also asked me
to tell all of my family and friends about her because she wanted a
family too. She is a true heartbreaker, but a firecracker as well.

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So, I go over to Bethel's website, and see this video... Pull out the tissues before watching! Hannah, maybe your sister will come from China??? :-) God needs to tell Daddy first though!!!
(Remember to turn off my blog music before watching the video.)

video

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAS!!!

My boy is 3 today!?!? Where does the time go? He had his 1st day of Pre-k today, but you will have to wait until tomorrow to get the details...sorry... I just realized that I left my camera there, and I want to do the post with the pics. Sorry, I am being anal. It did not go as well as I had hoped. Jonas did fine, and I was fine, but for a developmental center...I had to tell them too many things...

Here is one example: It was snack time and the aid offered Jonas juice or water...She put the two choices in front of him, and somehow she thought he chose apple juice??? I was not talking, so Jonas did not think that I was there... So, when she was passing out snack, and she put two choices in front of him to choose: Cheerios or Animal Crackers. She asked him like 3 times to choose, and then I couldn't take it anymore and said, "He can't see what you have in front of him, he is blind..." DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... Why does she think he is there??? I know he looks like he can see a lot of the time, and he can see a little, but come on people...read the IEP before a new student comes in!!! This is what is making me have apprehensions... More to come tomorrow...

Okay, enough about that and on to the slide show. I am going to make 2, because I could not fit all of the photos on that I wanted. I use photobucket, but since I use their free package, I can only put 50 photos per slide show. So, the first slide show is from all of his time in Haiti. GLA does an AMAZING JOB of documenting the children!

Fun little buy...


Aren't they cute!?!? I was looking on ebay for fleece lined jeans for Hannah. She absolutely LOVES FLEECE!!! It is sooo hard finding fleece lined jeans in her size--6-7. I did not have any luck finding any for her, but found a pair in Jonas's size and I bid $.99. I completely forgot that I had even bid on them, and tonight I got the email that I won them for $.99. I love a good deal!!!!!!!! Shipping was $5.00, which I know is too high, but for these cute jeans and how warm he will feel in them....it is worth it!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jonas, Jonas, Jonas...


Tomorrow, Jonas will turn 3... Where has the time gone? Where has 8 months gone? This time last year, we were making a you-tube video for him to watch at GLA. Oh how much has changed since then!!!

He eats all by himself...
He pulled up to stand today...all by himself...
He has started to repeat some words on command...
He is sooooooooo interactive with us...
He LOVES his momma...and LOVES to cuddle now...

There are so many more things, but my mind is not working... Jonas will start developmental Pre-k tomorrow, and I am not ready. Both Hannah and Micah went straight from 1st Steps to public school at 3 years old. They were ready in all ways, and I just don't think that Jonas is there yet. But, it is a great facility, and there will be typical developing kids and special needs kids in his class. It is almost 1 on 1 child to adult. He will receive all of his therapies there now, and have access to sooooooo many cool things to help him reach his highest potential.

He will go 3 mornings per week: Weds, Thurs, and Fri. They wanted him to go 5 days a week, but I thought that was too much!!! If 3 days is too much, then I will probably go to 2 days. He and I are bonding so well now, and he has totally bonded with me as his mommy, I don't want to screw it up!!!!

Please pray for me and the Pre-k situation! I hope he LOVES it and does great. It is only 2 1/2 hours, so I think he will do fine. He does great in the nursery on Sundays, and that is for 2 1/2 hours...

Well, I am off to make his slide show for tomorrow...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Micah is 6...

Sorry for the blogging break... I am still not totally in sinc after the craziness of the holidays and the power outages... I feel like a hamster in a wheel, but it is getting better.

Before It get's too far past; I wanted to make a tribute to Micah's 6 years of life. His birthday was actually Friday, January 9th... I am so thankful to God everyday that Micah was born in the US. He would have died in any under-developed country. Micah has gone through more in his 6 short years of life, than most of us will ever go through in our entire lifetime!!!

Micah is such an old soul, and has such a servant's heart! In the slide show below, there are some missing gaps. I did not get my first digital camera until he was about 2 1/2. I have scanned some photos from before that, but our scanner is not working now. I could have put so many more photos in this, but had to stop somewhere... :-)

Enjoy...Thank you Micah for making my life better, and for teaching me what is important in life and how very precious life is!!!