Very curious...

I am semi-new to the cyber world of blogging. I just started this blog in February. I know some of you that frequent the blog, but I would love to know "who else" visits this blog. So I have some idea of "who" I am communicating with. I looked at my sight-meter tonight, and saw that people from all over the world are reading. I am just very curious as to who "you" are!

Hopefully I am not boring you all with the posts. Originally this blog was intended to keep family and friends informed about our adoption, and it has turned into something larger. It has turned into a cyber scrapbook and journal, that my kids can look back on in the years to come. I also want readers to have a glimpse into our family, to see that raising children with special needs can be "normal". Maybe even inspire some of you to take that step of faith and adopt a child with special needs. This blog has also proven to be therapeutic for me as well. Just to be able to write my thoughts out, and read them back to myself is great therapy!!!

SO, WHO ARE YOU??? I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just click on "comments" below, and type who you are and where you live.

This is what summer is all about...

I came home from running some errands today, and this is what I saw when I pulled into the driveway. Just Luca and Daddy. Really, does life get any better than this???

Asleep with his puppy...

Ryan's aunt and uncle bought this puppy for Jonas. HE LOVES IT!!!!! It is made by Fisher-Price. Jonas can push each part of his body, and it will say what it is. It also plays songs and laughs, and says, "I love You". I would recommend this toy for any visually impaired child, any child with developmental delays,a child that does not speak english yet, or your 1 year old learning body parts. It is great for cause and effect and it has different textures on it too.

Jonas was playing with it the other night before bed time, and he fell asleep mid-play...

If Jonas could talk, he would say,
"THANKS FOR THE PUPPY UNCLE JIM AND AUNT PHYL!!!"

More therapy...

Here is another video from yesterday's therapy session, that would not load last night. I am having problems loading them straight to e-blogger videos, so I have to take them all through you-tube first. Any advice for uploading them straight to my blog would be great!!!!!!!!

Jonas's therapy...

Here is a glimpse of what Jonas is doing during his therapy sessions. His PT, Sue, is so thrilled with the progress that he has made over the last 7 weeks. He even stood up from a seated position on the ball today; all on his own. He is doing fabulous!!!!! Plus, we have the best therapist on the face of the earth!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks so much Sue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Learning to feed himself...

Jonas is making new developmental strides daily!!! He has went from only eating things the consistancy of baby food six weeks ago, to now eating bites of sandwiches, meat, fruit, and many other things. He also is now holding his sippy cup by himslef to drink. Just this week I started working with him on picking up pieces of food and trying to get him to feed himself. Of course, before I pulled out the video camera, he successfully picked up a couple of puffs and fed them to himself. He just amazes me with everything that he is doing and learning!

Yesterday, before I was going to give him a bottle, and he knew I was getting one ready, he started saying, "ba, ba, ba, ba...

Here is a video of Jonas attempting to feed himself... (Remember to pause the music at the bottom of my blog first.)

Some of the things that I am saying to him in Creole are:

-Hold your food with your fingers, and put it in your mouth.
-Don't play with your food.
-Eat it.
-The food fell.
-Open your mouth to eat.

Could you get 100 babies to sleep???

This video was taken while I was at GLA picking up Jonas. I was amazed at how calm it was putting this many babies to sleep at night! They have a good system down. What I love the most, is that if the children want to sleep together, they can!!!!!!!! They really create good friendships with each other while living at GLA.

(REMEBER: TURN OFF THE BLOG MUSIC AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE, BY HITTING THE PAUSE BUTTON, SO YOU CAN HEAR THE SOUNDS OF HAITI.)

Another Zoo Camp song...

I promise not to put "Zoo Camp" songs on my blog all summer, but you might be seeing one more... I think they are cute, so maybe they are just amusing me! Hannah loves to know that she is a part of our blog. Photos don't mean anything to her, but hearing herself on videos puts the biggest smile on her face!!!!!!!!!!!

Hannah and the "Shark Attack"...

This one cracks me up. For those of you that "know" Hannah, you know that she loves to be a bit morbid in her story telling and songs: This song fits her perfectly!!!!! :-)

To hear any videos that I post, go to the bottom of my blog and pause the "blog music". Enjoy the song... :-)

In honor of Louna "Camesise"...

This little girl got to go home to France this past week. I have been in love with Camesise since the first time I saw her picture on the GLA website. Whenever we would go up to the nursery, she would run up to me and literally crawl up me to hold her. I would take her up to the balcony with me to play. This little girl knows what she wants, and will do great things in France when she grows up. Anne-Cecile, if you are reading: I am so glad that you have your little girl home with you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zoo Camp...

Hannah attended Zoo Camp, at the Fort Wayne Children's Zoo, this past week. This is her second year to attend Zoo Camp, and she loves it! She was a "World Traveler" this year. It was Monday-Friday,from 8:30am-3pm. She learned some cute songs, and here is her singing a couple of them. I will upload more later...

What is "normal"???

I found this sight today, and it gives a very good description of CVI. We did not learn anything "new" and the neurologist appointment on Wednesday. Honestly, if he was not Micah's Neurosurgeon, we would probably not go back to him. We have always loved this doctor, and he is a colleauge of my dads'. Maybe he was having a bad day, but he just was not positive. He has always been very positive with Micah, even from the beginning, and not knowing if he would ever walk, or what his developmental outcome would be. Micah was born with Spinabifida/hydrocephalus, and he walks, runs, jumps, and does excellent in school!!!!!!! He is like any other boy.

He told me on Wednesday, that Jonas would never be "normal". Okay, honestly, I wanted to hit him. All of these "momma bear" emotions came out in me, but I politely kept them inside. He said that he will always have CP (Cerebral Palsy): Yes I know this; that does not just go away. But I know lots of adults with CP that function independently! He also said that there was nothing to be done for his vision. I know this too, and also, you can be an independent person with no vision. Did he forget that Hannah is totally blind??? I am so thrilled that Jonas has some limited vision!!!!!!!!!

So doctor, do you realize that you just insulted 3 of my children, saying that they are "not normal"? Really, what is "normal"? God made all of my children just the way they are supposed to be!!!!!!!!!!! So maybe they are not "normal" in society's eyes, but they are "PERFECT" in my eyes, and in God's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psalms 139: 13-16

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

I will let the Bible speak for itself...
--------------------------------------

The doctor did say that children's brains are very plastic, and even though parts are damaged and will not get better; the brain in a child has an amazing way of re-routing to different connectors and functioning through a different way. Looking at what Jonas has done and learned in just 6 weeks of having him, I am very optimistic!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I am in denial somewhat, but I am not going to put limitations on him, until he proves to me otherwise!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, we went to see Dr. Landrigan for a 6 week checkup, and he was thrilled with his accomplishments!!!!!!!!!!! The boy is now 28 lbs. 12 0z, and is 35 inches long. So, in 6 weeks, he has gained almost 2 lbs, and has grown 1 1/2 ". WOW!!! Jonas even stood holding onto a chair with no assistance, for a few seconds!!!!!! He is eating much better, and learning how to chew: Right now he is eating bites of PB & J, and cantelope. He even holds a sippy cup by himself, and takes drinks. He understands everything that I say to him in Creole. He is making new sounds all of the time, and he is moving around our house so comfortably!!!!!!!! I was reading a braille book to him yesterday and he was running his fingers over the braille. That about made me cry!

Here is a great description of CVI:

(American Association for Pediatric Ophthalmology and Strabismus)

What is cortical visual impairment?
Cortical visual impairment (CVI) is bilateral decreased visual response due to an abnormality affecting the part of the brain responsible for sight. It is one of the most frequent causes of visual impairment in children from developed countries.

My child had been diagnosed with cortical blindness in the past. Is this the same thing?
Cortical blindness is an older term for CVI. The term “blindness” can be misleading. Children with CVI usually have some level of vision which can improve over time.

How does normal vision work?
The eyes take a picture of an object. That message is sent to the brain by way of the optic nerves. The brain recognizes the image and integrates it with other sensory messages (auditory or hearing, proprioceptive or sensing where the object is in relation to the body, etc). The brain then responds to the sensory input by sending a motor response to the appropriate part of the body.

How does vision work in CVI?
The eye structure in CVI is usually normal. The eye takes a normal picture of the object and sends the message to the brain. The message is not properly processed or integrated because of the abnormal brain function. Many children with CVI have difficulty visually “latching on” to an object and also filtering out peripheral visual stimuli to isolate the object.

What causes CVI?
CVI can be caused by any process that damages the brain. Examples include: stroke, decreased oxygenation, brain malformation or infection, hydrocephalus (increased pressure in the brain), seizure, metabolic disease, head trauma and other neurologic disorders.

What visual characteristics are associated with CVI?
Variable level of vision loss, often demonstrating fluctuations over time
Poor attention to visual stimuli, particularly complex visual stimuli
Delay in response to visual stimuli
Improved visual function in familiar settings with familiar objects
Preference for looking at lights
Preference for viewing objects at close range and odd angles
Better vision when viewing moving objects than stationary objects
Does vision improve in CVI?
It is difficult initially to predict future visual function. Vision improvement may be seen in some children.

Can CVI be treated?
Treatment of any underlying neurologic disease is essential and should be organized by the primary care physician. It is also important to start early intervention to help stimulate visual development. The appropriate state or local agency should be contacted for available services.

What type of stimulation is helpful for children with CVI?
Large, high contrast, lighted, reflective and moving objects; e.g. mobiles
Touch or sound to attract child’s attention
Visual materials presented in a simple uncluttered manner with increasing complexity as tolerated
Presentation of visual material from different directions/angles
Variable level of light in environment (some children do better with a lighted toy in dim room initially)
Extra time for responses to visual stimuli
Avoidance of over stimulation
Avoidance of visual tasks when child is hungry, tired, frustrated, etc.

**I had to laugh about avoiding "over stimulation". Do you think an orphanage with almost 100 babies is over stimulating??? lol...

Here are some pics of him eating lunch today. He is such a HAPPY BOY!!!!!!






I will post videos of Hannah singing some songs from zoo camp that she learned this past week, and a video of Jonas. Hopefully I will do that tonight!

Micah and the ice-cream man...

I grew up living in the country, so I never got anything from the ice-cream man as a child.  When Ryan and I got married, we moved to Fort Wayne; a much bigger city than Bluffton!!!

I bought my first treat from the ice-cream truck when Micah was about 6-7 months old, and he and I shared it.  If you know me well, you know that I LOVE ICE-CREAM!!!!!!!!!  It is my weakness!  Micah also shares my love of ice-cream.  Hannah HATES ice-cream!!!  I am not sure whose kid she is??? :-)

Even before school is out for the summer, those crazy trucks start hitting the streets, ripping off children and their parents, and blaring their songs!  There were many times last summer that Micah stood in our driveway crying, as the ice-cream man drove buy, because we would not let him get something.  We were not sure if Micah was going to make it through the summer!!!

Our saving grace:  A REAL ICE-CREAM MAN...  We live in a historical neighborhood, and the people who live here in the area are great!  There is a man that lives not too far from us, who got very annoyed at the ice-cream truck, and did something about it.  

He found an add somewhere for a "real" ice-cream delivery bike, and drove all the way up to Wisconsin to pick it up.  He has a great selection, and very reasonable prices.  He mostly bikes around the neighborhoods on the weekends, so that is a big help too!  So now, Micah knows that he can wave and watch the truck go by, and does not cry when he can not get something.  We have told him whenever he sees the guy on the bike, he can get something.

So, to my story:  Friday Micah was out playing with his friend Jarod, and his mom and I were out talking, and Micah said, "Mom, I hear the ice-cream man!!!!!!!"  We heard nothing, and it was close to dinner. So, since I "know" that he only comes around on weekends, I knew it was "safe" to say that if he sees him then he can get something.  Not more than 3 minutes later, that guy rides down our street...  I don't know how Micah heard him, he must have special "ice-cream" ears! :-)  All this man uses to let kids know that he is in the area, is a bike horn and a bell.  

Here they are with their treats...

Haitian get-together...

Tonight we went to Charlie and RJ Macomber's homecoming reunion.  Charlie has been home for 4 years, and RJ has been home for 1 year.  RJ lived at the same orphanage as Jonas:  God's Littlest Angels.  We went down to Gas City, near Upland, for a pool party and cupcakes.  Hannah prayed on the way down that it would not be lightning, so they would be able to swim.  Her prayers were answered and she got to swim.  It was a little chilly, so I did not put Jonas in, and Ryan chased Luca around the entire night!!! He is a boy on the go...  It was good to meet some other Haitian adoptive families, and finally be able to meet the Macomber's.

Here are some pics from the night:  Not many...  I was either holding Jonas or chasing Luca!!!

A filter got pushed on my camera:  so the colors turned funky...

Does it really get any cuter than this???
Micah after inhaling his chocolate cupcake...




I really want another cupcake!!!
Why not???
Hannah after swimming and eating her cupcake...
This was the only decent pic that I was able to get of Jonas... (playing with his spit...)
R.J. Macomber
R.J., Phil, Charlie, and Angie Macomber

CVI...

I had to blog this: JONAS JUST CRAWLED ABOUT 3-4 FEET ON THE COUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I was
not even coaxing him. I was getting his bottle, and Ryan was beside him working on his
laptop, and I turned around, and it took me a couple of seconds to process what I was
seeing, and then I said, "Oh my gosh, Ryan look, Jonas is crawling!!!!!!" that made my
night!!!

About Jonas's MRI: We have preliminary results from the radiologist, and the
opthalmologist looked over it too. We will see Micah's Neurosurgeon on Wednesday to get
an in depth report, and for him to evaluate him. So the preliminary general diagnosis is
CVI:

Cortical visual impairment (CVI) is a form of visual impairment that is caused by a brain
problem rather than an eye problem (the latter is sometimes termed "ocular visual
impairment" when discussed in contrast to cortical visual impairment). Some people have
both CVI and a form of ocular visual impairment as well.
CVI is sometimes known as Delayed Visual Maturation because the person's vision can
sometimes seem (to an outside observer) to be improving over time. This can be due to
the person's learning how to make better use of the unusual types of information that
their malfunctioning visual system presents to them, and to take into account the context
and other clues in a piece of continuous Sherlock Holmes-style detective work. CVI is also
sometimes known as Cortical Blindness, although most people with CVI are not totally
blind. The term Neurological Visual Impairment (NVI) covers both CVI and total cortical
blindness, but sometimes these terms are confused. (That definition is from Wikipedia.)

What does this mean for Jonas...

Sometime either pre or post natal, he had a stroke. Or, sometime after birth and coming
to GLA he got an infection in his brain that damaged his right occipital lobe: The back part
of the brain that controls vision. The connections that are in the brain that transmit
messages from one side to the other, have been damaged, and that part of his brain has
atropheed. What damage is done, is done. It will not progress, but that part of the brain
will not get better either. Kids are very resilient, so his prognosis developmentally can still
be very promising!!!!!!! I will learn more about that on Wednesday.

I am glad that we have some baseline now to start with. We will be able to research and
learn all we can about CVI, and how it can effect children, and learn how to best help him
reach his full potential!!!!!!!!!!! The one thing I wonder, and will always wonder, is when
did the stroke or infection happen??? Was he normal developing, and then got sick???
Was he so scared and frustrated when he got to GLA because the the damage had not
occurred too long before coming, and he was still getting used to a body and mind that
did not function the same anymore??? We will never know, but those are things that I
have thought about today. Maybe the Neurosurgeon will be able to tell us, and shed more
light on the situation???

He is doing great, and progressing everyday!!! When I went into get him after his nap
today, he was saying, "da, da, da, da, da,". I am hearing new sounds out of him all of the
time. When I hold him now, he plays with my hair, and if I have short sleeves on, he will
put his left hand in my sleeve and play with my arm and shoulder. It is so sweet.

Tonight, when the kids were getting ready for bed, Micah was near him and Jonas initiated
play with Micah. That was so cool to watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Micah LOVED IT TOO!!!!!!!

I see new and encouraging things everyday... God is soooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Rebekah Hubley...

Thank you everyone for all of your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!! He did great without his bottle until they started his IV. It was hard to get the IV threaded, because he has smaller veins and he has more valves in his veins than some people. The IV team nurses said that it is more common for black people to have more valves??? They could get it threaded and then it would blow... But finally they got it in the top of his foot/ankle.

He was sedated for the MRI, and it lasted about 45 minutes. He slept for a couple hours after and then I finally had to wake him up around 2pm to get him to eat something. I think he would have slept a lot longer!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need some of that sedation for the kids on long car rides... lol... :-) He was out within seconds!

Here are the results from Dr. Rebekah Hubley... :-) (I have the cd of the images and have to take them to the opthalmologist tomorrow to be read professionally...) :-)

This is what I can see to be obvious... His back right ventricle is definitely larger than it should be, and does not mirror the other side!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, it could be a enlarged right back ventricle which is putting pressure on the occipital lobe, and is causing the left sided weakness, and is putting pressure on the visual cortex of the brain, thus impairing his vision. Treatment for this, if this is even a real diagnosis, would be to insert a VP shunt in to help drain the ventricle and take the pressure off the back of the brain, and then hopefully the brain would fill in and some vision would come back and improvement would be noticable on the left side.

Second diagnosis: He has had some sort of brain trauma to that portion of brain and thus it is atrophede, and is not growing right, which leaves more room for the ventricle to be larger???

I do not see any visible tumors, growths, or bleeds. I could totally be missing something that is small and obscure and only the professionals would pick up on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of you nurses and doctors(Sheryl/Brooke/Heather/Christy/Laurie/Cheryl/Dad/Missy...) are probably laughing hysterically at my descriptions, and that is okay!!! :-)
I called my dad for help,(he is a doctor), and he laughed at me and said he could not help me diagnose over the phone... :-) I told him that I think I missed my calling, and should have been a doctor. He told me that I could start medical school next week in all of my free time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol... I LOVE MY DAD!!!!!!!!!

So, I am sure that I will be posting tomorrow with the correct diagnosis!!!!!!!! In the meantime, and the off chance that I have read the MRI correctly, it would be a total miracle and blessing if it is just an enlarged ventricle and a shunt could improve the situation greatly!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will post as soon as I hear something!!!

Rebekah (AKA Dr. Hubley) :-)

Luca, Luca, Luca...

Luca has had the most adjustment to Jonas being here! He even wants to eat the baby food that we are giving to Jonas. Food that he said, "yuck" to months ago, he is WANTING to eat now! I know that he is trying to figure out his place now, and he has found himself in so many ways lately... :-)

I am also finding out what having "twins" is like! When I am being distracted, Luca is ALWAYS getting into something!

The other night I did not get dinner cleaned up right away, and this is what I found under the table...




(These were Jonas's leftovers...)

MRI...

Tomorrow at 9:30, Jonas and I will be heading to Lutheran Hospital for his MRI.  The MRI will be with and without contrast, and will be focusing on his brain and orbits. I would appreciate your prayers!!!!!!  He has to be NPO after 7am, and my boy LOVES HIS BOTTLES!!!  The sedation will start at 11am:  4 hours without food... :-(

I am very interested into what the MRI will show, and uncover, about his blindness and possible CP.  I will do a big update tomorrow night.  For now, I will leave you with a few new pics...  

He fell asleep in his highchair after a busy day of swimming at the PT's house.

Help me find homes for these little girls...

FIRST OFF: THIS IS TOTALLY LEGIT...

I belong to a yahoo group for families with blind children, and in the fall
there was a post about a 5 yr. old blind girl from Thailand. Wanita is her name. Her adoption
has been paid for by a private donor, and all of her paperwork is done. After a family
would be accepted, she is within 2-4 months of coming to the adoptive family. She had
her 6th birthday in April. I inquired about Wanita, and I have all of her info, and
even pics, videos, health history, etc. I know that we cannot adopt her, though I would take her
in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!! She is a BEAUTIFUL little girl, and she is VERY SMART. She
lives with a nanny, and attends a School for the Blind in Thailand. There is nothing else
physically wrong with her.

There was a family that I know from Fort Wayne that was interested in her, but
they have children younger than her, and the Thai government likes the child not to change
birth order in the adoptive family. Though, I was told by the social worker, that
they would make exceptions for special needs children, like Wanita. It breaks my heart
that she has not found a family!!!!!!!!! The only costs to the adoptive family would be the
travel to go and get her. Everything else is covered!!!!!!!!!

I do not have any info about the other little girl, but I am assuming that it is
a lot like Wanita's case.

Please pass this on to anyone that you think would consider either of these
girls for their family. Blind children become independent adults, and can do anything you and I
can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been blessed to be able to parent 2 blind children, and
I have gotten to "see" the world in a whole new way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join with me in my plight to find homes for these little girls...

Rebekah
---------------------------------------------
New orphans –blind, age 6, girls from Asia. Financial Help available

I work at a non-profit adoption agency and I just came back from
visiting these two girls and would be happy to talk with you about
them. Please let us know if you would like to see their photos and
medical information. There is no obligation to request their
information. Please ask about financial aid.

The rules to adopt from this country: You are able to adopt these
children if you've been married at least two years and are 25 years
of age or older. It is preferred that you have no more than two
children already in your home. Older couples may apply to adopt these
children. Single woman will be considered on a case by case basis.

Please contact FamilyFinders@... to see their photos, video and
information on these children. 1-800-732-1887.WACAP(www.wacap.org) is
a non-profit adoption agency.

L. girl age 6 1/2 blind..
L likes to sit in your lap, hug and cuddle. She loves music and
sings her own songs she has composed with a very sweet voice. L has
very limited sight in one of her eyes when the object is very close.
Her other eye is a prosthetic. She is a good eater even though many
of her teeth need dental work. Her teacher says she is smart and very
curious. She communicates well and has very clear speech. She is able
to count to 20 and passed all her tests to enter the school for the
blind. She is able to eat, dress, put on her shoes alone and visit
the restroom independently. She also helps her teacher put away toys
and gets along well with other children in her group. She smiles a
lot and laughs especially when bouncing on the big exercise ball.
Her adoption fee has been subsidized significantly and there is a no-
interest loan available. Please ask for ID number 2674
------------------------------------------------------------
W girl age. 6 blind. (Wanita)
W is a very bright girl that is blind. She is very outgoing,
confident and polite and sweet. She likes to tell stories about her
friends at school. She is very social and had many friends. Beading
is one of her favorite activity and she is fast at beading and needed
no help at all. She also can ride a tricycle. She puts on her shoes
by herself, visits the bathroom on her own, and brushes her teeth
by herself. She is learning Braille at school. The teacher described
her as very clever and smart. She sings songs she creates herself and
has a very sweet voice. She likes to be lifted up and spun around as
well as jumping on a small trampoline with her friends. She enjoyed
sitting on my lap at the same time as two of her friends.
No Adoption fees- they have already been donated ID number 2275

Thank-you Lynne Mason
FamilyFinders@...

We love to grill...

I love the summer months, because 75% of my cooking involves the grill. We have been grilling a lot lately, and our family has two favorite things that we love to grill! Sweet potatoes, and corn on the cob. We grill the sweet potatoes until they are charred on the outside, and the inside is so soft and sweet. JONAS LOVES THE GRILLED SWEET POTATOES. I don't know if it is how the grill cooks them, but they don't even need butter or brown sugar to make them good. I have never grilled corn on the cob until this week. My friend Mia told me how to do it. We had it last night, and the kids asked if I could go to the store to buy more to grill. We loved it, and it was so easy. Micah and I husked the cobs, and then soaked them in cold water for about 15 minutes. Then we put them on the grill and cooked them for about 8 minutes, turning them every 2 minutes. The corn was SO SWEET, with a little smokey taste. It was a hit, and we will be having lots of grilled corn on the cob this summer!!!!!!!!! Try it out; you will love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!